Doin’ Your Job Well.

When you have a child, you envision what life has in store for them. Will they do well in school, what sport will they play, will they play music, will they, will they, will they??? You HOPE their life is one of substance and purpose. My son, my first born, barely survived his first 2 years of life. Mike was born with a congenital heart defect that nearly killed him several times, and kept his father and I in a constant state of alert. Friends were afraid to babysit, for fear of another “episode”. His treatment aside from drugs was barbaric. His heart would break thru the medications and beat at 280-300 beats a minute. Babies usually have a heartbeat of 120-180. To treat this, they would wrap Mike up papoose style, and dunk his head in a tub of ice water. This sudden shock-like reaction would stop the heart and in theory re-start the heart at a normal rhythm. This was supposedly a less traumatizing treatment than using “the paddles”.

As a result of this, my “will they” game for Mike became “will he live to his third birthday”, “will the next episode be the last”, “will he ever take a bath or learn to swim” he was terrified of water. On April 1, 1993, Mike had heart surgery at the Children’s hospital at the Medical University of South Carolina. He was the youngest child his surgeon had ever performed that type of surgery to. After the surgery, we attempted to create as normal of a childhood as we could. Mike stayed small, but grew up to be a normal kid. He remembers nothing of his medical nightmare, save for a few scars on his leg, neck, and femoral area. When I think back to those dark days of his life, it is difficult to not shed tears remembering his pain and ours.

Mike is now 18. He just graduated from Northwestern High School. He leaves for college in 2 weeks. My “will they” game has changed drastically in 18 years. From “will he live” and “will he get better” to “will he love college” and “will he remember to come home sometimes, with or without laundry”. I hope that my “will they” game will evolve to “will he marry Dani” and “will they have children”. Someday, I hope. For now I am happy he is alive, a caring smart young man, and ready to start the next part of his life.

I guess the best that you can hope for as a parent is that you teach your children what they need to know about life and love, so that when it comes time for them to leave, they can go.